elevation is necessary

the past couple of months, i have grown, grown so far and learned so much more than you can ever imagine. For some, my learning process may have been oblivious. As for myself, i took a smack of reality in the face and finally sit down and realize truth. Along the way, as you might have heard me say so many times, i carried the three values of courage, hope, and faith close to my heart. Within these morals, although they are tattoed across my chest, I never fully embraced them until this week. In previous readings, i have written that i have lived in a sick and twisted reality, and indeed i have. But as a person who always pointed the finger, i can now look in the mirror, reflect on the image in front of me, and dread his appearance. I have learned that the problem was internal, a disease that i have unconciously embraced for years. And i am regretful to say that although i rid myself of that evil, he still lingers in my veins. He is a monster and i hate him.

This blog was to ensure not only the quality of my work, but to also express the hard, long, and enduring pain i carried on a day to day basis in order to keep my relationship with my partner sane. Sexual Addiction is NOT an uncontrollable disease. And i dare anyone to ever say that it is an uncotrollable one. Like any other addiction, it is a strenious and intense battle to maintain sobriety; however, i have learned if there is a will there is a way.

My dear and precious mother, came to yesterday. And as i spoke to her of my stories and of my hurdles. She looked, opened her mouth, and said, "Willie, I do not imagine you alive in ten years." She went on to discuss that she raised me a strong.

With all of the commotion going on in my life, I challenege myself from here on out to not hurt the ones i love by my actions.

- Because from now if someone can look at me in the face and tell me "I love you, i believe in you!", even after all the hurt ive managed to put them through, then for once, GOD DAMN IT, so will i !!!